Fade to Black or I never knew all I really wanted was a cat.
Just finished reading AB;s book of short stories & thought I could make people laugh with the story of my unusual, pathetic?? Life too.
While BP is not known to be a humorous disorder, living with it day to day can be quite absurd. Ask your child a reasonable request? Never!
I love our therapist…really, I wish she could be my best friend & we could have long lunches & phone conversations. I truly believe that I would be able to work out all my issues & save money because as my best friend she would never ever charge me. I already have a best friend who has listened to me cry & rage over about 30 years & she has never charged me & has given me some of the best advice of my life. But, it’s not her professional job so I would be happy to add on a professional therapist as another “best friend”.
We went to the therapist yesterday. Usually I walk out of her office invigorated, ready to face it all over again. But yesterday, after a 2 hour session involving my husband & both kids I felt like I had been told how I need to do things differently while my husband sat there and shook his head agreeing. Since he has never disciplined the kids except when he finally gets angry and yells and then I have to step in and help I was confused why everything was focused on me. The therapist was right in the sense that I (we?) had lost track of what was illness vs. what was bad behavior. It’s difficult when you are in the middle of it to break it down to what you can do something about and what you just go into your room & pull a blanket over your head about.
Here’s the background. My husband & I have two adopted kids. I was 42 & B was 45 when G was born. It was obvious G was strong willed from early on, but nothing to raise flags. L, our son, was born a year and a ½ later. It was obvious to me from day one that something was a little different about L. He didn’t bond in the same way that G & I did. But, after three months the bond hit.
When L was about 2 I started the rounds of doctors, saying there was something going on. Of course, all I heard was he seems ok, just wait to see. But, we were able to get some services through the regional center from about 2 ½ to 3. Then, although he wasn’t diagnosed with anything he started in special education preschool.
At this point, L was our worry, our focus. But when G was 7 1/2 problems started. It all came to a head when we were on vacation at Lake Tahoe. We stayed in our favorite condo, right on the lake, big grassy area, beach, pool. Mornings we would walk to the bakery for a treat, afternoons we would play peewee golf & sit out on a deck watching the waves & eating appetizers. Sounds great, but the entire time G complained. I don’t want to go, I don’t want to wear that, I’m hungry but I won’t eat that, I won’t go to sleep, I won’t watch that video. We were frustrated, angry, flummoxed. Declaring it the worst vacation of our lives we went home & looked forward to the next school year.
