I want your opinion!!!

OK, Monica, if you read this I WANT YOUR OPINION!!!

G went on a field trip today to the Monterey Aquarium.  I had to get up early, made her lunch, helped with clothes, lent her my phone & spent all day wondering how things went.

G comes home & for about 5 glorious minutes she is happy to see me.  She talks talks talks about what her day was like.  When we got home I said, “Don’t go into the garage.  I got a present today for you for Christmas that I am really excited about! If you go in & look at it I’ll return it”.

Well, that was the wrong thing to say.  She immediately got pissed.  She demanded to know what it was.  She said, “It’s not fair.  You know I will go into the garage.”  I said, ok, I’ll move it a little later.  But, at that point she was pissed.  She is now laying on the floor making up a song “My mom is the worst mom.  She is ugly.  I wish Mrs. Liddy was my mom.  She can return the present, I don’t care. My mom is the worst mom, I wish she wasn’t my mom…” It’s been going on for about 5 minutes with no end in sight.

OK, I shouldn’t have said the line about returning it, I should have known that would make her mad.  But, geeze, I was trying to be nice and get her excited that I found a present I thought she would really like.  I tried to get her to talk some more about her day but she said, “It was the worst day ever.”  

So, is this normal kid behavior, normal bipolar behavior, or am I crazy?  I fee like she has to get out all her frustrations from the day & if I leave her alone she will come around.  Am I expected to wait this out & then be nice when it’s all over?  It’s hard to switch gears & be nice once it’s all done.  It sucks all the energy out of me & makes me want to go to bed & just pull the covers up over my head.

Update: It took about 10 minutes but G said, “Mom, I’m so sorry I hurt your feelings.  You were trying to tease me to make me happy.  I’m sorry.” Wow, I totally melt. Lesson learned: G is getting better about struggling with her feelings.  Leave her alone & she will come around.  Give her a chore after she’s been rude, but believe that it will improve.

Celebrate!

 

Celebrate, Celebrate, G did not fall asleep in class today.  Mystery solved!! Of course, now L seems to be having problems.  He is really scared of things all of a sudden.  He can’t go into the bathroom because he is afraid of spiders.  God forbid, if there is a daddy long legs in the tub, he completely freaks out.  When we went on the walk on Sunday he had a litany of concerns, “Mom, can gophers hurt you? Mom, are there tarantulas here? Mom, what if a squirrel fell on your head?”.  The questions were nonstop.

Remember, life is a journey, not a destination!!

Collecting Stones….

Today I started a jar of stones.  I took an empty jar & everytime G was rude to me I put a little, smooth, florist stone into the jar.  It’s 5:00 pm & there are two stones.  It’s kind of a reminder to me of the days events.  Not sure what I am doing with the information, yet.

G went to bed early last night – around 7:00 & woke up around midnight.  Did not go back to sleep.   She did not fall asleep in school today, so maybe stopping the different med yesterday worked.  Of course, it’s only 5:30 pm and G is sound asleep, snoring away.  Please please please let her sleep through the night.

G & L went to the dentist this morning.  G’s teeth were fine.  In fact the dentist changed an earlier prediction & said he didn’t think G would need braces (didn’t tell G that, she is counting on getting braces.)

Poor L is going to have to get two teeth pulled next week.  The dentist said, “Whatever you do, don’t prepare him.”  The dentist thinks it is best just for L to show up, get anesthesia & have the teeth pulled.  I have to agree with him.  I think it would be more torturous for L to have to think about it ahead of time.  I told B that he was going to have to take him.

 

Baby’s Beach, Lake Tahoe  Peacefulness

More Changes

Went to G’s doctor today.  She was perplexed that the med we had discontinued was not actually causing the sleepiness.  So, starting tomorrow we discontinue another med.  She seemed pretty confident that this was going to work.

I am a little concerned…discontinuing 2 meds, yikes.  I am supposed to wait three days before I reintroduce the other med, but I am not promising anything.

A Walk in the Park

We are starting to come up with some after Thanksgiving traditions.  Number one, take out from Uncle Yu’s.  We buy enough for dinner & lunch the next day.  Number two, a hike in the Walnut Creek hills.  See pictures.

Giving Thanks…..

Had a wonderful Thanksgiving at my brother’s house.  It’s not my brother’s intention, but when I go over there I am totally spoiled.  I plop myself down on a couch & let the world swirl around me.  I don’t cook, I don’t clear, I don’t serve…it is absolute heaven.

Yesterday G had a little meltdown.  She claims that her cousin, who she is absolutely in awe of, laughed at her.  This caused her to lock herself in the bathroom & refuse to come out.  I should have just left her alone.  But, no, I worry about her.  Is she ok? Will I find her lifeless body sprawled out over the chic metallic european sink? 

At one point, in an attempt to get G out of the bathroom,  her aunt told her that she needed to use the bathroom.  No problem. G promptly came out of the bathroom & promptly ran downstairs and locked herself in the bathroom next to the kitchen.  You have to be trickier than that to pull one over on G.

But, given time, G came out and had a great time.  Lesson learned?  She will come around & if she doesn’t there is nothing I can do about it.  Nothing except to work on getting her medication to the proper levels.

Secret Addictions

My secret addiction is listening to Gram Parsons & Emmy Lou Harris clips on Utube.  I will be playing guitar & I’ll say to myself, just one clip.  That’s all.  An hour later I’ve listened to the same clips about 10 times. “And when today, I heard them say your name, that’s all it took…..” Thanks, Gram.

Thanksgiving.  I got up, gave G a big Thanksgiving hug & made the pumpkin cheesecake for dessert.  B gets up an hour later.  First thing he says is,  “Jesus.  I do the dishes, go to bed & come back & there is another mess in the kitchen.”  No “Happy Thanksgiving”.  No, “Gee, what’s in the oven? It smells good!”  He can be such a &*(*&(*.  I do the blanking dishes about 4 times a day.

The kids are nicely playing today.  At 11:00 a.m. G says, goodnight, I’m going to bed.  She is now lying on the floor of her room, covered in blankets, sound asleep.  What is going on with her meds?

Dr.’s List

OK, here’s the list for the next time I go see the psychiatrist:

• easily frustrated. “Mom, I can’t find my shoes”.  This is before she even looks.  She says she wants to go hit tennis balls with me, which makes me really happy.  But, she can’t find her shoes.  So, am I supposed to scrounge around and find her shoes for her so she’ll go? As I type this up, it is quite obvious that I should not find her shoes for her.  I guess she will just keep sitting on the couch and moaning.
• which leads into, gives up too easily.  She was playing foursquare when a couple of the boys on the block ganged up on her.  I told her I would go down & watch so that they boys wouldn’t gang up.  Oh, no, she’s done.  She lets this one boy on the block (who has his own issues, God knows) stop her from participating in activities on the street.  How do you get her to  understand that you shouldn’t let other people control what you do? 
• disrespectful. We’ve talked about this one.  It seems like she is always looking for an argument when she talks to me. 

Tonight I told her to come into the kitchen & put the dishes in the dishwasher away.  “I’m not hungry,” she says & goes to bed. After B, L & I eat dinner she comes out and says, “Is it time for dinner?”.  Does she do this cause she thinks she’ll be able to eat, or because it makes me mad? I tell her just to go to her room.  She goes.

When I started a shower for L she came in & was rude to me in the bathroom.  What gives? All day long she just either sucked up to me or gave me hell.  I guess that’s what is meant by manic depressive.

Through the Looking Glass

Here is what it’s like:

G: I don’t have gym today, can I wear my new boots?

Me: Sure.

G: Calls from school (twice), “Mom, bring my tennis shoes.  I have gym today.”

Me: I run to school, tennis shoes in hand.

G: Sees me.  Gets upset look on face.  “Mom, I found out that running is voluntary today.  I am not going to run.  Take my shoes home.”

Me: “I brought your shoes.  Do the running today.”

G: “This is the worst day ever.  All because of you.”

I feel totally turned around.  I thought I was doing good deeds.  Letting her wear her new shoes.  Running to school with her sneakers.  But, no, according to G I caused the worst day ever.

Med changes, again….

I’m in the middle of a week of testing G’s meds.  I need to figure out which med is causing her to be so tired.  So, this week she stopped take the zoniswhatever.  She seems a little manic…is doing tons of talking.  I’m waiting for the other shoe to fall & for her to go the other direction.  So far, no input from school on whether she is falling asleep.

Have a couple of issues going: first, schoolwork.  I just received a binder full of her schoolwork.  When G is not interested in something she will just write in any answer that comes into her head.  “What was the book about?” G’s answer: “Read the back cover”. Second issue: Her disrespect.  It is constant, in small ways, just like water torture…drip, drip, drip….I have to step back & come up with a plan so that discripline is not so haphazard…drip…drip…drip…